How to Cope with Holiday Stress and Depression

The winter holidays can be fun and joyful, but they are also stressful for many people. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by social obligations, gift buying, and extended time with family. For people who are depressed or grieving, the holidays can bring on intense feelings of loneliness, isolation, and sadness.

Here are some holiday coping strategies from McLean Hospital and other mental health experts:

Take Care of Yourself. Regular physical activity can help you cope with depression and just being outdoors can improve your mood. If you have the energy and ability, try walking around your neighborhood, visiting nature trails, or doing yoga in a park. Or simply enjoy being outside in the sunlight. Eating healthy and getting plenty of sleep can also help you feel better. 

Let go of judgment, both for yourself and others. Conflict with family and friends during the holidays can lead to judgment and self-criticism. Whether you’re blaming your partner for not helping you prepare the holiday dinner or feeling disappointed in yourself when looking back at your year, notice when you’re making judgments. Take a step back and try to loosen those feelings of being “bad,” “wrong,” or “inadequate.” Even if it’s hard to let go of criticism completely, simply notice when it is happening and let those thoughts be without entangling yourself in them to give yourself distance from the feeling.  

Set Boundaries. If you are not in a joyful mood, be honest with yourself about your feelings and know that many people feel the same way. Learn how to be comfortable saying “no” to holiday invitations or requests that feel stressful or overwhelming. It can be helpful to communicate your intentions to friends and family so everyone knows what to expect. Focus on activities that are the most meaningful to you. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.

Stay Socially Connected. Depression and sadness can make it hard to leave your home, but try to find ways to be socially connected. Tell your loved ones how you’re feeling, they may help you feel less alone. Ask an understanding friend to come over, if going out seems too stressful. You can also check in with a support group, a mental health professional or a faith group. You might find reading, meditating, or writing in a journal to be helpful.   

Consider Volunteering.  This holiday season and beyond, you might try volunteering as a way to improve your mood. Benefits of volunteering include feeling like you matter, contributing to your community, connecting with other people, and being part of something larger than yourself. 

When to Seek Help 

If you’re still feeling sad, hopeless, or depressed after the holidays are over, you might have more than the “holiday blues.” You should talk with your doctor or mental health professional about treatment options, such as therapy and medication. 

If you are in crisis, call the national suicide prevention lifeline at 988 or the Samaritans in Massachusetts at 877-870-4673. Volunteers respond to calls and texts 24/7. 

Other ways to get help:

• The U.S. government’s free and confidential SAMHSA National Helpline.  Call 1-800-662-4357 for information and treatment referrals (in English and Spanish) in your area. 

• Your Employee Assistance Program. These confidential workplace programs often offer several free sessions with a licensed professional.

• Your Health Insurance. Some insurance companies offer 24/7 telephone services, such as nurse lines, to people needing to connect with a health professional, including a mental health professional.